We Are Making History, People

(what an experienced homeschooler, teacher, work-from-home mom is doing during the COVID-19 social distancing)

I haven't posted to this blog for several years.  It started as a place to post about my kids and their ever changing likes, dislikes, quirks, and appearances at their birthdays. But alas, life took me over and I've missed several birthdays. But this morning I was searching for a printable card that my girls could color and send to some elderly in our area and I found several blogs from moms who are offering their creations for free. So, I thought that maybe, just maybe, there may be a mom (or two) out there that are finding themselves in unchartered waters at this time who may need just a little guidance or a starting point on how to handle working from home, TRYING to responsibly educate their children, keep the house from falling in around them, not make screens all day babysitters, reduce fights, and still maintain some semblance of sanity.

First, if you don't know me personally, I'll tell you a little bit about myself and my experience so you're not sitting there reading this going, "she has no idea...." While I may not have walked in YOUR exact shoes, I would be willing to bet I've tried on a few of them. Here's a run down of my life experiences:

• mother of 5 wonderful children, ages 17 (yes a senior this year), 16, 10, 9, 7
• been a stay-at-home mom
• ran an in-home daycare when my oldest two were toddlers
• taught kindergarten
• taught 6th grade
• taught 3rd grade
• currently teaching high school Algebra, PE, and Health
• homeschool mom for several years for various children and reasons
• pre-school Sunday School teacher
• program director for various children's plays and programs
• VBS music coordinator
• pastor's wife for a total of 10 years

So now that I have my credentials out of the way and (hopefully) you don't think I'm just some 20-something naive mommy of one sweet little sleeps-all-night, coos-all-day baby typing this from a perfectly clean and quiet home that's been decorated by Hobby Lobby and Joanna Gaines, I'll offer a few ideas that could possibly make things run (a little) smoother during this time at home. (And by the way, if you are a 20-something mommy of afore-mentioned perfect baby in a beautifully decorated home -- GOOD FOR YOU!  I'm not putting you down, just saying that's not me......definitely not me.....)

1. Start your day with prayer

Yeah, yeah, I know. You're smacking your head right now, going "Geez, I thought this lady was gonna give me some ACTUAL put-into-action advice. Give me something tangible!" But don't click out yet, please. There's more to come, but this has to be said. We CANNOT ever, in ANY circumstances, expect to be able to walk in the Spirit as the Word tells us to if we do not pray for it.  Ask the Lord first thing before you get out of bed for patience, understanding, peace, and guidance.  Your children will remember this time if they are school age. Make sure their memories are mostly good. They're looking to see how you react to this. They're taking their ques from you. Go read Romans 12 specifically the first few verses. That chapter deals a lot with how to treat others and how to react within your self. 

2. Be more flexible

I was immediately tempted to type up a timed schedule for each day with a full itinerary of non-screened activities. (ok I did type up a schedule, but it's not timed) I spent one day this week getting really angry that my 3 youngest just could not grasp the concept of picking up after themselves.  I had visions of cleaning up and cleaning out. But I feel the Lord has prodded me to loosen up a little. I'm naturally a little high strung, uber organized, and a tad OCD. But I have had to concede to the fact that these little people (and bigger people) are pretty much stuck at home and have no real outlets for their energy right now.  We live in a neighborhood and have taken a few walks (we'll discuss that later) but our yard is basically nill and we've had a lot of rain this week that further kept us inside.  So, with all that said, you may have to rethink the neat as a pin approach to your house as a whole. 

Right now there' s a fort complete with Christmas lights in my dining room. I just don't go in there right now. I know better. I'll develop a twitch and nobody needs that right now.

3. Be mindful of your tone and volume

Logistically speaking, you are in a house. You do not need to yell to get your point across. More than likely you're not in a hurry to go any where. So you have the time to speak calmly and patiently with your children and your spouse. Practice stopping and breathing before you speak. I encourage you to lower your voice instead of raising it. If you need to speak sternly with your children because of their behavior, here's a guide on how to address them:

• physically get up and walk to wherever they are
• stop the disruption, fight, or whatever is going on
• speak in a normal tone to each of them looking them in the eye
• give appropriate consequences if needed, but remember they are already "grounded" in a sense so maybe an extra chore or a bit of a time-out alone would be recommended
• keep in mind they are probably just as on edge as you are. They are missing their school friends and are tired of each other
• leave the conversation with hugs and lots of love
• DO NOT insult them or call them names     

Honestly, all of the above things are good practices for all the time. 

4. Use this time as an opportunity to get to know your kids

For a lot of families, the daily routine is that kids go to school, parents go to work, and the evenings and weekends are filled with activities. I am blessed to be with my kids a lot because I work at their school. But it is not lost on me that a lot of parents just don't know their kids. So, watch their made-up dances, listen to their silly stories, sit down and help them with their school work, let them use your makeup (you aren't going anywhere), lend your high heels to the girls for the day, and just soak in this time to BE WITH your kids.

5. Have a plan, but refer to #2

I actually did type up a sort of itinerary. We still have to get some academic time in. I still have to work. And there are still household chores to do. I will point out that I did not TIME this itinerary. In other words, I am not getting my kids up early. Some may disagree with that decision, but honestly, we are allowing them to sleep in until they wake up so that we can get some work done in the office.  Once they get up, they have a list of things they should do. I am encouraging them to do everything in order. BUT yesterday my sister-in-law stopped by with my niece and nephew and they all played together for several hours and had birthday cake for my niece. So, obviously, school work and chores were put off. And you know what, that's ok.  I have posted my "schedule" below in case you want to see what we're doing.

 The first few items are normal daily tasks we do everyday anyway. I really want them to maintain some sort of normalcy in all this. Changing their clothes does not mean they have to match or wear nice clothes. I simply just don't want them in pajamas all day. It's pretty well known that if you stay in your pjs all day, you're mindset is not going to be on productivity. It will be on Netflix binging and eating your weight in chips.

You'll notice number 10 says "Daily Activity." One thing that I'm really trying to do during this time and even before the social distancing, was to greatly reduce amount the time my kids were looking at a screen of any kind and get back to actual PLAYING. I have posted a list of ideas I came up with for my kids to choose from.

Exercise has looked different every day here. We live in a pretty big neighborhood at the top of a hill so we can get a pretty good workout just by taking a stroll down the street. But it has rained heavily here for 2 days so we've been inside. They were pretty lazy yesterday after their cousins left, but they ran and played hide-and-seek while they had visitors so I count that as being active.  I have even seen some posts on Facebook of friends who allowed their children to play outside in the rain. Great idea! If mine would have asked, I probably would have let them, but I probably would have also developed a twitch.....but that's ok.....it's a sacrifice I must make. 

Obviously, this cannot work for everyone. So rearrange the order, add and take away things, allow the screen-time if it's needed, do what works best for you and your family. I'm just suggesting some sort of plan. Plans seldom play out to a tee, but when you have a guide, you will be less likely to get overwhelmed and slip into chaos.

After 3 days of this list, I was super surprised to find that the scavenger hunt was chosen over and over again. I found a lot of free ones online (we did the treasure hunt type). 

ALT stands for Arts Live Theater. They are a local children's theater group in Northwest Arkansas. They are asking kids to send in 90 second videos of them doing just about anything from monologues, reading poetry, putting on a skit, singing, playing an instrument, the list goes on and on. They are planning to compile them and create full 10-minute episodes and post them to YouTube. It's a great idea. They are also offering a Virtual Theatre Academy. Here's their website: www.artslivetheatre.com. 

I found an awesome site for stay-at-home moms that includes free printables for your kids, blogging tips, crafts for kids, etc.  Click to visit What Mommy Does.

I'm going to open comments on this post to allow people to post other sites and resources that they have found as well. So SHARE the wealth, Mommas!

#13 says "Help Mom with one household project"  The first day we cleaned out and reorganized the bookshelf in our living room. We plan to go through and purge clothes, shoes, and toys next.  But again, I cannot stress enough the need to calm down. Tackle these projects a little at a time. Take breaks often.  Offer an incentive for getting it all done. We are having a yard sale when this is all over and my kids LOVE making money, so that's our incentive. Also, realize that most elementary aged kids cannot do this by themselves, so don't set them to a task that's too big for them. They will not finish it or do it right and you'll get frustrated.

6. Shower

In the words of Nike, Just Do It.

I hope I have provided even a little help from this post. I plan to post more in the days to come of what is working, what is not, free resources, and Biblical encouragement. 

P.S. My husband pastors Lower Campground United Baptist Church. If you would like to join us for online services, visit us here.

P.P.S. If you need prayer, please don't hesitate to reach out here, on my Facebook page, or on our church page.